My response to
Jay:C'mon, let's dance!! This is one of Indigo's favorite phrases . . .
Dance. What a joy to behold. We dance and feel love. My daddy used to dip me in his strong arms and we would laugh and I felt so safe. I used to dance with my mom too and we would laugh and feel so free together. I have been missing my daddy's strong dips! I have been holding this in my heart much lately. Indigo read my thoughts as she so often does. She came up to me one day while I was lost in thought, missing my daddy's strong arms . . . She said to me, "Mama, do you want to see what a groom does to his bride?" (where she got this, I will never know). Of course I did want to know! She put herself into my arms and went into a big back bend and let me dip her...she fell into that dip, knowing that I would hold her and not let her fall. I was so deeply moved by this and felt her love and my dad's love and all of our love intertwining. I dip her now as we dance and she smiles and laughs and wants more. She also likes me to hang her upside down and to twirl her around, and all sorts of other fun things.
So, love is dance and dance is love and being a mama has cracked my heart open wider than I ever dreamed possible. Losing my dad has cracked it open even wider. I know deep pain and sorrow and through those journeys to the underworld, I am reborn, full of renewed love and hope. Who knew that loss could make one love even more?
I have held the three babes who came to me and didn't stay for long with deep reverence and much gratitude for showing my heart a love I never knew was possible. And then came Indigo and that love was even bigger. Wow. I'm not sure that I would have found that big love without my children showing me. I'm sure others find it through different means, but this was my soul's journey.
Happy Valentine's Day, to all of my dear ones. I hope you know who you are :). Peace and love!
