My response to
Jay:C'mon, let's dance!! This is one of Indigo's favorite phrases . . .
Dance. What a joy to behold. We dance and feel love. My daddy used to dip me in his strong arms and we would laugh and I felt so safe. I used to dance with my mom too and we would laugh and feel so free together. I have been missing my daddy's strong dips! I have been holding this in my heart much lately. Indigo read my thoughts as she so often does. She came up to me one day while I was lost in thought, missing my daddy's strong arms . . . She said to me, "Mama, do you want to see what a groom does to his bride?" (where she got this, I will never know). Of course I did want to know! She put herself into my arms and went into a big back bend and let me dip her...she fell into that dip, knowing that I would hold her and not let her fall. I was so deeply moved by this and felt her love and my dad's love and all of our love intertwining. I dip her now as we dance and she smiles and laughs and wants more. She also likes me to hang her upside down and to twirl her around, and all sorts of other fun things.
So, love is dance and dance is love and being a mama has cracked my heart open wider than I ever dreamed possible. Losing my dad has cracked it open even wider. I know deep pain and sorrow and through those journeys to the underworld, I am reborn, full of renewed love and hope. Who knew that loss could make one love even more?
I have held the three babes who came to me and didn't stay for long with deep reverence and much gratitude for showing my heart a love I never knew was possible. And then came Indigo and that love was even bigger. Wow. I'm not sure that I would have found that big love without my children showing me. I'm sure others find it through different means, but this was my soul's journey.
Happy Valentine's Day, to all of my dear ones. I hope you know who you are :). Peace and love!
1 comment:
I found a comment you left on my
"100 things" list on my own blog. I don't know how I missed it, or when you left it. But it was kind, and I am sorry I don't think i saw it before...
I also note that you hav enot been here on your blog for some time. But after reading though these posts, I sure hope you don't give up on it. What you have to say is important and moving. Take a break-- as most of us do. But know that you can reach and touch people here. ;)
And I am sorry you lost your dad. I know how hard it must be...I found it interesting that you wrote here about dancing with him, and it made me remember something I posted about my grandfather and dancing some time ago. http://believingsoul.blogspot.com/2007/12/we-dance.html.
Much love. :)
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