Creating Indigo

Here is a very short version of the story of how Indigo came to be. I posted it recently on the Hypnobabies instructor Yahoo group and wanted to put it here for posterity. There is more to the story of course and I will expand on it one of these days...

I have my own variation of a positive TTC (trying to conceive) story, so whoever originally posted the request--feel free to write to me offline and I'll tell you
the entire story if you want all the details--the healing journey and
all the medical stuff along the way. Of course now I can see all the
gifts the journey has brought to me, but there is no way I could have
seen that gifts were buried in the muck when I was deep in it. Bottom
line is that with much tenacity, prayer, healing, positive intentions
and undying optimism, my beautiful daughter came into being 11 years
after starting the TTC process (there were some breaks on the
journey), 3 pregnancies and losses (one life threatening for me), many
surgeries and diagnostics, etc., etc. She was conceived through IUI
with clomid and an HCG "trigger" shot in the rear to get the eggs moving. A pregnant
NP did the insemination that "stuck." That was very cool. Indigo was
conceived on 9/25/03 and we HEARD her strong heartbeat on 10/31/03. I
had no idea we would hear her heart beating that day...only expected
to see it. That was the best day of my life next to the day she was
born pretty, pink and petite (6 lbs, 13oz; 6:02 pm; 6/10/04) with 9/9
apgar scores.

Now I am in a process of mourning as I have just recently made a decision to not
have any more children. I am sure about this decision, yet grief bubbles up now and again because my body and soul still feel the maternal call. We will do a ritual for this transition at some point. Indigo has named her sister who is not to be. Her name is Heartsa. We mourn for a little one who will never be, but we feel her possibility in our hearts and we let her go.